I have to say that I fucking love Chili’s, the restaurant, country fried steak, appetizer trio, the presidente margaritas, bottomless chips and salsa, you really just can’t go wrong. But it always seems like when you ask a girl to go there, they are kind of resistant. Maybe this explains why, courtesy of Holy Taco. Oh did I mention I love anal?
The Anal Sex To Chili’s Restaurant Analogy
Recently we here at the Taco were talking about anal sex (shocking, I know) and we realized that the way women feel about anal sex is almost identical to the way they feel about eating at the restaurant Chili’s. Here’s how we broke it down.
1. Women Who Don’t Love Chili’s But Will Eat There On Ocassion
A lot of women think Chili’s is just okay. If they’re hungry and they’re near a Chili’s, you might be able to talk them in to eating there. Or, if it’s your birthday, and Chili’s is your faaaavorite place to go, then your girlfriend might say “okay, fine, it’s your birthday, we’ll go to Chili’s and I won’t complain. I’ll even order the Queso Skillet.” They’ll never ask to go to Chili’s, but they can understand why you enjoy the food there, even though it’s not something healthy to have every day.
2. Women Who Will Only Eat At Chili’s When They’re Drunk.
If these women are sober, they’ll tell you how disgusting Chili’s is, and how they would NEVER eat there. But as soon as they’re wasted, they’re like “I am craving for some Chili’s.” Then the next morning they’ll be like “Oh my god, where did we eat last night?” and when you say “Chili’s” they’ll tell you “Don’t get used to eating there. I feel sick.” And sometimes if they’re drunk enough, they’ll wander into Chili’s by accident, because they’ll think they’re someplace else. Then by the time they realize it’s Chili’s, they’re hungry and they’re there, so why not?
3. Women Who Hate Chili’s, Even Though They’ve Never Eaten There.
Unfortunately, there are some girls that absolutely refuse to partake of even the occasional Chili’s dinner, no matter how hungry they might be. They’ve never eaten there, but they’ve seen the commercials for it, and they don’t like how it looks. If she catches you driving down the street that Chili’s is on, she’ll immediately say “you know I’m not eating at Chili’s right?” even before you’ve asked her if she wants to eat there. You can’t even say, “What if we just get an appetizer?!” Not only do they not like Chili’s, but they look down on girls who do like Chili’s. And if you attempt to bring up a friend of theirs who you heard likes Chili’s, they’ll ask you “how do YOU know she likes Chili’s? Have you been to Chili’s with her?”
4. Women Who Can Not Get Enough Chili’s
Then, finally, there’s girls who absolutely love Chili’s. They go to the bar at Chili’s, they watch games at Chili’s, when you’re out on the town and you ask them where they want to eat tonight, they probably won’t bring up Chili’s, but if they’re driving the car, they’ll just drive there and be like “Here we are at Chili’s!”